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Letter to My Younger Self.

“If only I knew then what I know now.”

This is one of my absolute favourite platitudes simply because it is so true. If I had the knowledge I have now as a woman in my thirties when I was a young teenager setting off for medical school things would have been so much different. I don’t doubt I would have made mistakes, no one’s perfect, and even as I get older and (hopefully wiser) I will still continue to make mistakes but the journey would most certainly be different.

With that in mind I decided to address my younger self. If I could go ahead and advise my teenaged self from my current perspective I would firstly want to urge that fire within.

Things will get difficult, that there can be no avoiding, but with the right frame of mind there isn’t anything you can’t handle. Don’t let the opinions, emotions or selfish needs of others dictate to what you are doing. Do right and good by others as much as possible but remember you are not responsible for their happiness. It is important to take a step back every now and again and examine your life. Know what you want and remember you’re a little fire cracker and can achieve anything you set your mind to.

I am pleased to say you will achieve your dreams but that will only come from a lot of hard work and sacrifice. Those sacrifices will be worth it but you won’t always feel that way and you will have your days of regret. However, just remember all the little glimpses of the future you always hoped for are there for the taking.

Look after your health. It is more important than anything. Without a healthy body and mind the rest is moot. Exercise and eat right. Pay attention to mental health too. You can find yourself slipping into your own head so easily. Don’t let yourself miss what is going on around you.

Finally, know that you are loved. If you forget that or don’t realise that just hug one of the little ones. They’ll soon remind you!

We have things we’d like to say to our younger selves, to warn them against or even encourage them into. What would you say? Would you do things differently if you had the knowledge?


Vivika is the author of various thriller books, graphic novels and short stories. Proceeds from her novels support Ragdolls UK who are helping Turner’s Syndrome girls achieve their full potential.

Her latest novel Harbour House is available now.

“Bring me your sick. Bring me your troubled. Bring me those society can no longer cope with for they will always have a home here at Harbour House.”

0109: Interview with tawny mcinney

Harbour House 2020 trailer.

A woman, middle aged, frizzy haired and full figured is brought before me. She is smiling despite her surroundings. She has an unlit cigarette in her hand. She knows she’s not allowed to smoke in the office but she clutches it for comfort. Behind that smile is perhaps a little nervousness. She is Tawny McKinney better known by some as The Baroness. She’s an old show girl from the Knock Knock club in the Shanties and if you had told her she looked nervous just a few short years ago she would have dismissed it with a laugh.

Interviewer: So how are you feeling today, Tawny?

Tawny: I feel good. Better than I have done in a long time.

Interviewer: That’s good to hear. You’ve settled quite well into the routine here. When you first arrived you were mute.

Tawny (laughing): Some people would say having me shut my gob was a good thing!

Interviewer: You were brought in here as a trauma resident. Do you feel you can talk about what happened that night at the club?

Tawny (laughing again but now nervously): You really want to hear about that?

Interviewer: It’s why I’m here. I’d like to hear your own perspective on it.

Tawny: A lot of people got hurt. A lot of people lost their lives.

Interviewer: It was a horrific attack.

Tawny: Yeah those bastards!

Interviewer: I’m not here to discuss the cause of the attack or the motives of the attackers. I would just like to help you open up about what you saw and how you felt.

Tawny: They were like family to me. How do you think I felt?

Interviewer: I think you feel somewhat responsible. Is that correct?

Interview terminated. Resident 0109 becomes hysterical and requires porters and nurses to calm her. Interview will continue when she is in more of a state of mind to face the reality of her trauma.

#amreading #thriller #harbourhouse2020 by @VivikaWidow


Bring me your sick. Bring me your troubled. Bring me those that society can no longer cope with. They will always have a home here at HARBOUR HOUSE.

The Baroness was a much loved figure. An attack on her club would split the city in two.

Download the entire first season to kindle or read for free here at vivikawidow.com.

The Booze Riots

The MACK AND SONS Distillery has been a feature of the town of BELLFIELD for generations. Owned now by the Mack family, the Macks have earned the respect of the community through time. They are highly regarded. Roguish, like most of the townspeople but filled to the brim with community spirit.

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Brendan Mack head of the Mack clan.

During the Great Wars of last century the distillery gates had been closed, protecting the town, providing the rations. At the time it was the Colbine Gasworks that had the area, for which Sean Mack worked. As the city pulled itself together again the Office of LAWMAKERS called a ban on all alcohol products in Greater COLDFORD. The already desperate city saw cause to be outraged and riots sparked from City Main to the farthest reaches of Bellfield. The people wanted their booze. After the Great Wars people wanted to numb their memories and prepare to rebuild. The Law Makers would not be pushed. The flow of alcohol was causing violence, domestic and city wide. The riots were testament to that. They needed what was left of the work force fresh and able bodied. The health care couldn’t afford to keep drunkards.

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The Mack Distillery, located on Love Street in Bellfield.

In a shed within Cobine, Sean Mack began to brew his own booze. His speciality was a whiskey recipe that was passed to him by his grandfather. When Cobine himself discovered what the non conformist was up to he was delighted. Soon, Sean was providing booze for the entire city, causing him to have to bring in his sons – Darragh and Callum – In to help. And so this formed the original Mack and Sons. The distillery grew around Cobine and is now a huge feature of Love Street in Bellfield.

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Reporter, Sam, enjoys a glass of Macks as he contemplates what he has gotten himself into coming to the Knock Knock club.

The Mack and Sons reserved table was filled. An attack on the Knock Knock club would leave the rehab facility HARBOUR HOUSE picking up the pieces.

Click HERE to pre order.

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Complete Season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read HERE.

Or click HERE to download for Kindle.

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Character Profile: Simon ‘Punchline’ Penn

Name: Simon Penn

Age: 29

Occupation: Boxer

Features in: KNOCK KNOCK ; HARBOUR HOUSE 

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please welcome to the ring … Simon ‘The Punchline’ Penn.”

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Simon always has game face.

The crowd goes wild whenever the middle PENN TRIPLET steps into the ring. A champion boxer, Simon is passionate about keeping in the best shape he can be. But don’t let that fool you, he also has great head for numbers and is the accounts keeper for the AUCTION HOUSE. Whilst big brother MARCUS takes the lead, Simon has been known to get into altercations with his little brother REGGIE. Even as boys none of them would question Marcus. Reggie on the other hand teased, badgered and hit Simon until he would react. They were as close as any two who shared a face could be but they did play rough.

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Simon discusses plans with his triplet brothers.

As young scoundrels growing up in City Main, Rita had to rush her darling baby to Coldford General after Simon beat Reggie so badly he was knocked out cold. Father, Reginald, felt it good for the boys to harvest a little bit of rivalry between them but Rita couldn’t bear to see any of them hurt.

They would always be working closely with each other so to channel Simon’s strength and frustrations he was turned to boxing. Starting in the small ‘Junior City Boxing Club’ in the upper West Simon quickly showed promise and before long was bringing home all kinds of trophies and medals.

Outside of the Auction House Simon takes to the ring. Most of his training is carried out at the Wilson Gym in City Main. But don’t worry there are Wilson Gym’s at many convenient locations around the city if you fancy taking your chances.

They call her The Baroness and her activist spirit is legendary. To some she is the lovable KNOCK KNOCK show girl. To the LAWMAKERS she is the next target and rehab will not excuse her.

Coming May 02: Welcome Tawny McInney to Harbour House.

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Resident 0109: Tawny McInney. TRAUMA.

Complete season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read HERE.

Or click HERE to download for Kindle.

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Character Profile: Chloe Grover

Age: 19

Occupation: Prostitute

Features in: Knock Knock

What can we say about our Chloe? She has certainly had her troubles even by SHADY CITY standards.

Retrieved from the HARBOUR HOUSE facility by KNOCK KNOCK club manager, DENNIS, she thought she was on her way to a happily ever after with her knight in shining armour. From the frying pan into the fire she went as she was sold into prostitution.

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Chloe is pretty, broken, sweet natured and feeble minded. She has the perfect combination of attributes to make her prime prey for the SHARKS IN THE WATER of Coldford. To put it kindly she has made Dennis a great deal of money. There are certain rules though around the Knock Knock club that aren’t to be broken and Dennis has been bending a few of them to suit his own agenda. Time is up for her keeper which means time may be up for Chloe too.

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As we move on to Volume 2 of Knock Knock we can be assured of Chloe holding a great piece of the puzzle as the story continues to unfold.

For Chloe there are no TOYS IN THE ATTIC

Volume 1 is free to read on Vivika Widow Online or download for Kindle by clicking HERE.

KNOCK, KNOCK: Episode 1: Welcome to the Club

Knock, Knock: Episode 2: Don’t Come Knockin’

Knock, Knock: Episode 3: Sleep Tight Sam

Knock, Knock: Episode 4: Take A Bow

Knock, Knock: Episode 5: A Room With A View

Knock, Knock: Episode 6: Picking Up Strange Women

Knock, Knock: Episode 7: No Kids Allowed

Knock, Knock: Episode 8: Kids These Days

Knock, Knock: Episode 9: Shootin’ The Breeze

Knock, Knock: Episode 10: Calling Last Orders

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Hathfield Bay: The Waves

Stadium: Bay Park

Sponsors: Moray Marina

A spirited team from the Hathfield Bay Islands, their competitive edge is always trumped by the enjoyment of the game. Their love of the game and the enjoyment of their fans will always be more important than any trophy.  What is best known about them is their friendly spirit and the welcoming atmosphere of their stadium. Given the beach side setting, travelling fans often make their visit a holiday.

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Known for the standard age of their fans being older than the rest of the league the Islanders are always well treated at away matches. Trouble doesn’t suit Hathfield so when the fans of BELLFIELD caused trouble and damage to the stadium after a disappointing result, the public were shocked.

Supporting the team and supporting each other is important to the islanders. The sponsors – Moray Marina – is the location of the ‘FEED HATHFIELD’ program and has been running since the first great recession almost closed the bay down.

Our most notable Shady City fan of Hathfield is  TAWNY, affectionately known as the Baroness. An islander herself she is best known for being the aunt of KNOCK KNOCK boss lady TABITHA. Tawny, like her favoured team is spirited, friendly and willing to enter the thick of the action when the moment calls.

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Enjoy this? Why not pay a visit to the Baroness’ old club?

Immerse yourself in the Shady City with the hit Knock Knock graphic novel series which is free to read here at Vivika Widow Online. You can also download for kindle by clicking HERE.

KNOCK, KNOCK: Episode 1: Welcome to the Club

Knock, Knock: Episode 2: Don’t Come Knockin’

Knock, Knock: Episode 3: Sleep Tight Sam

Knock, Knock: Episode 4: Take A Bow

Knock, Knock: Episode 5: A Room With A View

Knock, Knock: Episode 6: Picking Up Strange Women

Knock, Knock: Episode 7: No Kids Allowed

Knock, Knock: Episode 8: Kids These Days

Knock, Knock: Episode 9: Shootin’ The Breeze

Knock, Knock: Episode 10: Calling Last Orders

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Coldford City: Our City; Our Rules

Stadium: Coldford City Park

Sponsors: PENN AUCTION HOUSE

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Coldford City strip. Season 18 – 19

With the largest stadium and three of the most skilled players transferred from the coastal city of Luen, COLDFORD CITY are the team to beat in the National Premier League. Although having the money to buy top players does bring it’s fair share of problems. Striker, Andre Luis frequently dominates the headlines for his antics off the pitch as much as on. He is a frequent goal scorer but his personal life often takes centre stage. Rumours followed him from Luen that he was willing to throw games for the right pay. Some say it was in the Shady City he learned to PLAY THE GAME .

Their trophy cabinets are full but there is just one prize that alludes them. Andre Luis has worked his entire career to receive the Golden Boot. As it stands that accolade belongs to City’s fierce rivals COLDFORD ATHLETIC and their star, Samuel Connelly.

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A season unbeaten. City dominate the league.

Our Shady City thriller’s most notable fan of City is MARCUS PENN and his brothers. As sponsors of the team the triplets always have a keen interest in their investments and so will always make sure City has the money they need to always be the best.

Complete season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read HERE.

Or click HERE to download for Kindle.

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Character Profile: Dr G Winslow

Features in: MUSE , HARBOUR HOUSE

Age: 56

Occupation: Surgeon General, CEO Harvesters Meat and Dairy.

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The family farm became a city wide brand.

Dr Gregory Winslow is accomplished and well educated. There are many around the Shady City that owe their life to him. He is something of a wizard with transplants and one of his most grateful patients is Jacob Harverster, better known as the old Harvester. Jacob’s daughter, Julia , was so grateful to the doctor for her father’s care he was named one of the leading holders of the farm and with that control Winslow was able to help the Harvester brand grow and thrive.

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Winslow keeps a close watch on his investment.

Like many in the shady city Winslow doesn’t do what he does out of the goodness of his heart. He is in the business of saving lives but business is still business. Whilst saving lives can be a great thing the ugly truth is someone has to pay for it somewhere.

Harvester farm spread like a great smothering plant across the city with no one trimming away the rotting parts. The farm hands were worked harder but saw less benefits. Julia found herself in the doctor’s clutches. She couldn’t escape. She didn’t just owe her father’s life, she owed everything and the good doctor was going to make sure he had his dues. He felt a duty to protect Jacob’s livelihood whilst he recovered and so his daughter had her duties to perform too.

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Harvester Farm is a vast place with a lot of hidden gems.

Winslow has touched so many lives. From the simple farm girl who he has complete control over to a down on his luck artist. Winslow connects the two and as their stories collide, as artist and muse, a horrifying truth will be revealed as they desperately try to break free.

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When Dr Winslow takes control of Harvester Farm he takes the farmer’s daughter too. Just to keep things running smoothly you understand. 

Coming 2020.

Bring me your sick. Bring me your troubled. Bring me those that society can no longer cope with. They will always have a home here at HARBOUR HOUSE.

#amreading @VivikaWidow and I’m ready for rehab, 😏 #harbourhouse2020

Character Profile: Marcus Penn

Features in: KNOCK KNOCK ; HARBOUR HOUSE 

Age: 29

Occupation: Owner of the PENN AUCTION HOUSE.

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Marcus is a no nonsense man who knows just what it takes to get a job done. He is fully acquainted with the darker side of the Shady City. With his strong connections to the KNOCK KNOCK CLUB and his auction house holding control of City Main there are enemies gathering around him

What is most distinctive about Marcus is that he is of a set of triplets. He and his brothers – SIMON and REGGIE – run the Penn House together. Marcus is seen as the unofficial leader being the eldest by a few minutes.

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The Penn House had been passed down to them through generations by their father. They proudly hold art work from the likes of DAVID FINN as well as other antiquities that most would find difficult to get a hold of.

Marcus isn’t shy of the dirty work. He is emotionless, iron willed and carries a reputation for a reason. Not many would dare tackle him alone. Even fewer would go against him with his brothers by his side.

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Marcus and his brother Reggie show club manager Dennis how serious they are.

Things run as smoothly as they can in Coldford City when the Penn House is charge of bidding but like most things in Coldford there are many shades.

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Marcus is loyal to the Knock Knock club and often helps with its dirty work.

They call her The Baroness and her activist spirit is legendary. To some she is the lovable KNOCK KNOCK show girl. To the LAWMAKERS she is the next target and rehab will not excuse her.

Coming May 02: Welcome Tawny McInney to Harbour House.

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Resident 0109: Tawny McInney. TRAUMA.

Complete season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read HERE.

Or click HERE to download for Kindle.

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The Right to Remain Silent: Coldford Police Department

In the Shady City it takes a brave cop to walk the streets. Shady City’s finest are as touch as the streets they protect. There are many confessions made within the walls of Coldford Police Department (CPD).

Sam is under interrogation by Shady City’s finest.

Such confessions include the kidnapping of a young girl named Marjorie (MAESTRO) or the murder of half the Filton University anatomy class (CONFESSIONS).

The brave men and women of CPD are always torn between what’s right and what needs to be done. Things can get sticky as the lines of morality are blurred.

When a reporter comes to them with one of the most incredible story they have ever heard it seems like it’s time to take the streets on force. The city is descending into chaos and it needs all the brave wearers of blue it can find. If those in uniform are willing to bend rules a little to get the job done, all the better.

Detective Hickes on the case.

They call her The Baroness and her activist spirit is legendary. To some she is the lovable KNOCK KNOCK show girl. To the LAWMAKERS she is the next target and rehab will not excuse her.

Coming May 02: Welcome Tawny McInney to Harbour House.

20191001_161436600_iOS
Resident 0109: Tawny McInney. TRAUMA.

Complete season 1 of the Knock Knock graphic novel series is free to read HERE.

Or click HERE to download for Kindle.

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